Forced Childcare?

I feel that women should have the final say its there bodys and if they dont feel that they dont want to go through it or dont think they can provide for it than they shouldnt have to. Women have to go through alot during preganancy and if they dont think they can handle it they shouldnt have to its there bodies.

I must say after checking out malepregnancy.com I am more than a bit taken back at what Dr. Lee is doing. It is not that I agree or disagree with it I just do not think that it has much relevance to abortion. As to the man in the relationship taking responsibility and whether or not he wants the abortion to happen is key but already taken care of to a point in all except one instance. Really, both people in the relationship must agree to keep the child. If the mother does not then she can have the abortion. If the father does not the mother can have the abortion or the father can leave because if they cannot agree on that decision I cannot imagine them being able to work out a relationship. A child should never be brought into an environment where one or both of its parents do not want him or her.

I find these questions especially difficult and I kind of contradict myself with my answers. Ultimately, I think the woman should have most, if not all, of the say in the matter. It is, in fact, her body. She would be the one who would have to go through not only the emotional aspects of everything, but the physical as well. The man involved in the situation should be included in everything and I think should have some say...unless, of course, he is unknown. The fact that the man is financially responsible for the baby if the woman decides to keep him/her, regardless of the man's opinion, bothers me though. If people are sexually active they should be well aware of possible consequences first and for most. If both parties consensually have sexual intercourse I would hope they would at least have some sort of relationship in that they could have the "What If" talks. I do not think the man should legally be tied. Take it from the other stance, where if the woman decideds she doesn't want to keep the baby she can get an abortion w.or w.out the man's thoughts, feelings, opinions, wants, etc...thus totally severing ties between the man and his unborn child. So if the guy wants the abortion, but the woman physically doesn't want to do that to her body, I don't think the man should be responislbe for monetary provisions. This may seem kind of harsh to some, but I really don't think it is fair for the woman to be able to determine the man's involvement because he certainly can't determine hers. I mean obviously I am aware that the baby is inside of the woman and absolutely nothing can be done to change that and that really is the only reason why her involvement can't be changed.

I don't know...I guess my end-all thoughts about everything lay out as follows:

If two people want to have sex they should be able to talk TOGETHER about the possible situations that could arise. Then, if those two people do in fact have sex and the woman gets pregnant they should be able to talk about the fact that the situation did in fact arise and what to do about it. I guess what I'm really saying is I think people should only be having sex if they are in a relationship and/or EXTREMELY close and comfortable w.the other person, thus being able to talk to them about such serious matters. After that...I think it is pretty much determined by who wants what. If the woman wants an abortion, that is what is going to happen. If this happens, unless the man is willing and/or agrees, I don't think he should be required to pay for the procedure. It would be nice though. If the man wants an abortion, that is not necessairly what is going to happen. So, if the woman chooses not to have one, I don't think the man should be required to pay for the child. Obviously, I would sincerely HOPE he would...but again, I do not think he should LEGALLY be forced to.

I really don't know though. I have never been in this position and, knock on wood, never will. I think it is easy for me to say what I think right now because of this. If I do happen to get pregnant though, I really have no idea how I might feel and react...

Men should not be given the right to choose the fate of their child. The women is the one holding the child, doing all of the hard work. All the man did was do his business and get out. This is a joint decision. This is something that will change both peoples lives and one that needs to be thought out carefully.

I understand the concept behind this question and I understand how a man could be made to feel under the circumstances. I think it really needs to be a decision between the two people to discuss what is right for their personal lives. Unfortunately the man is left with less of a say in the matter, simply because the woman does care the baby for those 9 months. If she chooses not to, but the man still wants the child..how would that work?
Im also torn on this issue, because although i assume that most of us are sexually active, non-married people..being brought up in a Christian home, I was taught to wait until marriage. When we think about it, that whole waiting plan probably would have made sense on the issue of babies. Because then your in a stable relationship with someone who loves you, granted you dont see eye to eye on everything, but it might make things a lot easier. So its hard, knowing what I was brought up to understand, to decide on what should happen between a man and a woman whent he disagree on the topic of whether to have or not have the child.

Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering if any of you clearly read my post below. I know one of you mentioned that men do not understand the burden of preganancy, but that is not true.

http://www.malepregnancy.com/

Anyways, however I understand that a great deal of abortions are stemmed from irresponsibility, and naturally women are the ones who carry the egg. There is evidently an imbalance, but I feel as if this is definitely shifting to a more neutral environment, especially with the whole "male pregnancy" phenomenom. Personally I do not wish to call it that, but rather I am a bit skeeved out by out, only because it just does not seem natural at all! That's just my opinion. I'm wondering what everyone else thinks.

A man's right to choose? I think men have had plenty of time to choose and now I think it's time to put the choice in the hands of the females. Historically, females have been the ones to suffer from unwanted pregnancies, not only because of society wanting to hide unwed mothers to illegal abortion practices to unsafe preventative measures. Who were the majority of people that decided these to be good ideas? males. Women had no say in what was to happen to them and were told basically father knows best. The number of men standing up and saying they want to take care of their child is still far less than those who are willing to leave and never enter again. What is left is a female with a baby full of questions of survival and support. If we are talking about something involving females and their bodies then why should this become a male dominated issue. This does not affect males in the same way as it does females. Granted a male may loose a child he rightly urged to care for but for years this has not been the case, women have gone through the pain and suffering for years. We want equal access, equal pay, equal rights but we don't even get the chance to fight for our own bodies because in a male dominated society we are still not on the same playing field...

This is a tough one, yet I think I am more persuaded on the woman's side. Flat out, men do not go through the actual pain and stress of childbirth and abortions. They know straight up what can happen if the proper precautions are not taken during sex. A woman's body is sacred and personal, and she should have the ultimate decision in any matter concerning her health and well being.

Although, women should have the ultimate say about what happens to them, they should be considerate enough to inform the guy and include him in the matter. If he is supportive, then discussions about the best choice can take place. If he is not, then to hell with him, it is up to the woman.

The only thing I am on the fence about it is how much financially a father should have to contribute to a child they did not want. This issue can get pretty messy and sort of a "who's fault was it that this happened in the first place?" kind of deal. Men and women both know the consequences of unsafe sex. Therefore, if a woman gets pregnant and wants to have the baby and the father does not want it, then he he should not be able to walk away...problem solved...he should have to accept responsibilty for his actions. However, I do feel somewhat sympathetic towards the fathers in this situation. Afterall, are we not fighting the feminist battle in the first place to better "equality" between men and women? If we completely shaft men when it comes to these important childbirth and abortion decisions then are we not pushing this equality goal further away?

No, men should not be given any authority over the fate of their children because they are, in fact, given the authority before conception. Let me explain. What I am saying is that a man should not be the one making the decision concerning a women’s body. Any clue what childbirth and abortions feel like? Not to mention the psychological effects that both have on the women. Yes, I do agree that maybe it is not 100% fair to the man in the relationship or most often “non-relationship” but it is also not fair, that a man can walk away from a pregnancy, move away to pursue a career, telling no one the he has a child on the way, while the female carries the baby for 9 months all alone and goes through ALL the elements involved in childbirth, again, ALONE. If a man does NOT want a child (or does not want to pay for one) then he should be careful to protect himself, whether he likes to use condoms or not. Yea, it might not feel as good at the time, but HE also has a choice in this matter, that begins BEFORE conception occurs, not after. If a man wants a child then this is something that needs to be discussed ahead of time with his partner and an adult, mutual decision can be made between the two of them, if they are ready for children.

The answer to the amount of pull that a man should have in the decision of abortion is very hard to determine. Personally, eventhough it pains me to say it, men really have no power in a women's choice of abortion. This imbalance may seem unfair, but it is the womans body. Moreover, if the woman does choose to keep the baby, it is the woman's responsibility for the care and raising the baby. However, i feel that if a couple decides to have an abortion they should weigh the feelings and emotions of both partners before going through with it.

To be honest, and I hate to sound like a man-hater, but I believe that all of the talk about abortion that happens without the regard to the woman involved is because most politicians are men. The majority of women I've talked to, whether or not they themselves would not ever get an abortion, believe in the right to choose. Until you have lived as a woman and either experienced or thought about the idea of a life or potential life growing inside of you and being fed by nutrients you consume, being that affected by you and containing half of it's DNA from you, containing a part of what makes you who you are, I don't think you could possibly know what a big decision an abortion would be for any woman. That life or potential life could not survive or become a life without the woman. Even if a man wants the woman to have a baby instead of get an abortion, I do not believe he has any right to determine that decision for her. Though of course, in a perfect world both partners would talk and come to a conclusion about what they both want.

I guess this may seem unfair to some people, but the fact of the matter is that the woman is the one whose health could be in jeopardy and who has to carry the baby inside of her body, feeding off her body, for 9 months, give or take. That may seem a short time when you think about it but it is physically and emotionally draining in some ways. In particular I'd imagine it would be worse if the woman did not want the baby but was forced to. I feel in this case women would get desperate and seek illegal abortions.

A lot of trouble could be avoided if 1)people were educated about STDs and birth control, 2)more people used birth control and 3)if people were upfront about how they feel about abortion. My own personal belief is that before you (actually this mostly applies to women since they are the one's with the authority to make decisions about abortions) have sex with someone (in the male/female situation since pregnancy is not an issue for same sex partners) you should do two things, talk about birth control, and also say what you would do if the birth control failed. In other words, be up front and say "if this birth control doesn't work, I will... (have the baby or get an abortion)" Then, if it comes down to making that decision, both partners know what to expect. Of course how people feel can change, but I still believe it's good to be open about how you feel from the beginning.

Another comment I want to insert here is by saying that "the child belongs to the father as well," (USSJ) you are saying that life begins at conception or at some point before the woman would get an abortion and also that that life immediately is classfied as a "baby". Not all people believe this, and it is the responsibility of both parties to be aware of how the other person feels if it is that important to them.

Also, I believe that putting some financial responsibility on the man is society's way of saying "we want to support women who keep the child and realize that women do not 'get themselves pregnant'." In other words, in cases where birth control was not attempted to be used, it is not the irresponsibility of the woman that caused the pregnancy, but the irresponsibility of both partners.

This imbalance does not seem fair at all. I am Pro-Choice and everything, but I know if I got a girl pregnant and I wanted the baby and she didnt, I would definitely want to keep it. I know she is the one that has to go the all the agony of having a baby, and carrying it around for 9 months, but it is my child too. I would be crushed if I was told, you have no say in the baby's life choice. How is it that without me there would be no baby, but I have no say in whether or not the woman can have an abortion? I definitely thik that men should be given more authority over the fate of the child. I mean, you don;t hear many stories now days about men willign to step up and e a single father, so for the men out there that are willing to do it, they should get their chance.

This is a question I have wondered about befor. If your a woman and your sexually active and you do become pregnant, what do you a situation like that? There is no right or wrong answer. If the man wants the child and the woman doesn't can you actually force her to have it? If I was ever in that position I would feel completely helpless. The woman has to carry that child and risk her health and stop her life for 9 months. After that 9 months her life is changed completely forever because a man forced her to do something she didn't want to do. I think its completely up to the woman and no man should ever be able to force her to have a child.
On the other hand I do think it is unfair for a woman to have a child that a man does not want and force him to support it for the rest of there lives. If a woman wants to have that child and the man doesn't want it, he shouldn't have to participate at all.

marsromance- Although I understand your comments in regards to male childcare support, I wonder HOW we would go about making sure that the father will pay. If every man claimed his burden of responsibility, and did as he was supposed to, then this idea would be ideal. However in the most general way possible, this is not the case for every man out there. Do we bind him in some form of legal contract? Use coercion? Send him off to jail if he refuses to support the child after several years? What if he realizes too late, that he does not want this child after all, and refuses to pay child support? What is the mother to do at that point?

Since I am not exactly sure how to approach this question, I just feel like asking questions. Nonetheless I feel that women do have a leverage in this specific situation. They are the ones carrying the child in their wombs for almost a year, and there is a great deal of health and personal responsibility that accommodates this. Sbg149- I agree with you that the woman does indeed create a bond with her child for nine months prior to the birth of the baby.

Until men will easily be able to hold a child in his own womb, I feel that women solely have the greater say when it comes to keeping a child. However just to let you know, the first pregnant man is indeed a reality. Although I feel that it is completely unnatural, it is possible. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinon.
Check this out: http://www.malepregnancy.com/

Seriously, click on that link. I'm wondering what all of you think about this.

I feel that it is unfair for the father to have no say in the situation. If the mother wants the child, and the father does not, he may have to pay child-support. This shows that if the women decided to have the baby, the father is still responsible for providing; if the man has this much an important role when he doesn't want the baby, then why should his rights be denied when he wants the baby. I feel that to validate the mothers choice over the fathers is unfair. Furthermore if the father wants the child, the mother only has it for 9 months, the father has it for 18 years, so time is not an issue.

I feel that the women should have total control on the decision to have a baby or not. She is the one who has to carry the baby and deliver the baby so ultimatley its in her hands. The man may be able to provide money and care for the baby but the monther is the one who been bonded with the child for 9 months. I do not believe men should have a say in the choice of a women to have or not have an abortion.

Personally, I feel there should be much more discussion about a man's right to choose. Is it fair that a woman has all of the right to abort a pregnancy..a future child.. I don't know. Yet, we also have to consider that both parties know what they are getting themselves into. It would be ideal for both people to be able to make the decision together, but I don't see that becoming reality.

I’m curious about your desire to shift the abortion discussion away from women and their bodies. This is a commonly used strategy to erase the woman in the equation, so let’s resist the temptation to talk about “giving men more authority over the fate of their children” by limiting a woman’s access to abortion. Instead, let’s discuss (from a feminist perspective) why the debate often happens without regard for the actual woman involved.