Social influence on sexual "roles" and identity.

In today's society Id have to disagree that men are the more dominant ones. I believe that women are starting to stand up for themselves and when it comes to sexual activities they now feel more open about being the more aggressive one. I think such shows as Sex and the City do influence the behavior of women. But more on a positive note. They show how powerful women really are and show the great development of womens sexuality. Women are definitely more open minded about their bodies and their role in this society. The double standard that men are dominant and women are submissive no longer stands today. However, I think it can also depend on the individual themself. But for the most part I think women no longer fear taking the upper hand in sexual activities.

In response to what dmb50 I must say that women have always had the power that they are showing today they just did not realize or embrace that power. As a woman you hold more cards that you might realize. You can use the sex card for leverage and still not make yourself into a sexual object. In addition if something is said or done that you feel degrades you must put a stop to it immediately. It is funny how people can be like dogs; they need immediate and consistent feedback for them to fully understand something is unacceptable. If not habits will be formed and when you try to break habits your chances of success are slim to none.

I feel that women do have a harder time with their sexuality and ignitiating things in a relationship. From the book it was stated that sometimes they have sex just becuase the man wants to. That I can agree with I think some women just expect the ignitiation to come from the men. Just simply becuase thats how it was in years past and men are seen as the more dominating sex in most cultures. It is something that we are used to and change is always some what difficult to make happen. Now I do not feel that it is natures way that we are like this becuase we all can think freely and come up with our own ideas. We are not like animals and act on instinct all the time. I think it is just the way our society was in the past and thats how it is now. I do feel some change is taking place, but that takes time.

I find it hard to say that men are naturally dominate because some men are and some men aren't. There are some women who find it fairly easy, and sometimes would prefer, to initiate sexually. I think it's hard to compare humans to animals and argue that we too share that animalistic instinct and we act on what we cannot control. It should not be a given that men are the dominate aggressive, and the women are submissive and controlled. Women too have "it in them" to be as free with their sexuality as they feel comfortable but whether or not it is seen as acceptable doesn't make their actions valid. A "sexually free" woman is not acting on her natural instinct, in society's eyes she is "loose." When will a woman who expresses herself and her sexual freedom be considered a woman who has accepted and tapped into her natural instinct. I think it has a lot to do with the way you are raised. What you absorb and choose to model your life after could determine how comfortable you are with your sexual freedom, but not necessarily how much sexual freedom you are meant to have. The double standard falls in line with nurture and how women are raised to think about their bodies, which is not thinking about them at all. A sheltered woman is one who would easily go along with the double standard and a woman who knows better is the type to break away from the norm and mundane. Whether or not it is in your nature I feel it is in everyone to dominate and it is in everyone to be submissive. These things are too personally connected to us to be assigned genders. Your role is basically whatever makes you happy.

Females in general, I think, have it more difficult than men when it comes to sexuality. Men are accepted as openly sexual beings who can handle their sexuality, while women, on the other hand, are submissive when it comes to sex. When there are women who try to break that barrier by being open about sexual things, they are ridiculed, not taken seriously, or even called names. Why is this? Why does there have to be this double standard? I still cannot seem to figure it out. Yes, I said before in my post that it comes from personality traits, growing up with either sexualy open parents, and also the media, yet it seems that today it is something so consistent among relationships as well else where, like movies, TV etc.

I think that as much as women become open-minded about sex, that they will still have to fight against this standard. Society may present various alternative lifestyles, but still very few of those alternatives are completely accepted.

Are men dominate and women submissive? In a lot of (sexual) cases, I am willing to bet, yes. A lot of people I have discussed this with refer back to the same answer, "oh, that's human nature." But that gets me thinking, is male dominace and female subordiance truly inbred in our genes or is it because of what societies does? There are a lot of arugments that support both reasons here; but, even if we as humans are built this way, we recogonise it! I don't understand why (both) men and women seem to understand that this double standard is here, for whatever reason, and seem to let it slide by into furture generations.

While some might think that the man is and/or should be the dominant sexual giver, I think it a "position" (for lack of a better word) to be filled by whoever is in reality, the dominant sexual giver, regardless of gender. It is stereotypes like this that I find so frustrating and it is stereotypes like that that make it hard for there to seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of sexual equality. In cave man days the man used to club some cave woman over the head, drag her into his domain, and sexually dominate her as he so pleased. Acts such as those however have definitely NOT been carried through to this generation...and that would really be the only way I could see the term "dominant sexual giver" coined to men, exclusively...if the men literally, physically dominanted the woman. All this is though is, of course, if you actually do care who is called the "dominant sexual giver"...a term I find to be pretty unnecessary personally.

I think that there is a definte possibility of a majority of the influence of teenagers sexuality comes from the media. The media helps to provide the teens for advice and information on how to get oral contraceptives, abortions, etc. I think that more and more parents should get involved in their teens lives because than there wouldn't be less confusion. Why would anyone want their child to learn about their sexuality from the media? I think that many television shows influence how teenage girls carry themselves because they see this image of how they think that a woman is suppose to act and be. There is way too much enphasis on the media and not enough on how to be safe and how it is okay to be abstinent. Shows like Sex and the City are good for women but not teenage girls. It is a negative view of women because it makes all women seem premiscous, so many teenage girls find this acceptable. Homosexuals are viewed on a gender role confusion because people always say that one plays the woman and the other the man. I think that these stereotypes are really outdated and makes life for everyone confusing because the media twists things around to make it seem as though this is how the world really is. I have to admit though that there have been changes in society, but why is it that a strong woman has to be premiscous to be strong? Why is it that if they are educated and at the peak of their career they end up being emotional? Why can't the women portrayed on television just be strong, bold, intelligent, and normal? I guess it wouldn't make for good ratings.

I'm a person to try to never assume anything, but I do think that many females’ actions, specifically teens, do "live up" to their social expectation and belief. I think that shows and the way society are now definitely do influence girls a lot. I mean my mom would tell me stories about where she as a teenage girl or even as a married woman wouldn't have common conversations with her mom about sex. Now, it's almost common for sexual conversation to come up. I would say that women are more open-minded about their bodies because a lot more of the body is being shown now days. I really wouldn't know how women would feel about being expected to fulfill their typecast as a "girlfriend." I don't think that the men being dominant thing would still be true today. I actually kind of think that woman are starting to be the dominant, and I must admit, I kind of like it.

In response to jms944’s question about why men do not want to give up their power to women I believe I have an alternate view on that subject. The issue is not that men do not want to give up their positions to women it is the way women are still viewed in the work place. For instance if a man is aggressive and a real go getter he will be rewarded for it but a female is much more likely to be seen as push or arrogant. This is also due to the fact that many of the upper level positions in major corporations are held by not just men but older men. These men come from a generation where they were raised on the idea that women are not to be aggressive and while they might be proud of their daughter who went to college and started her own business, if his daughter walked into his office and during her interview for the new CEO position through out all kinds of ideas that would change how the company is run she would be shown the door faster than you can saw six figure salary. So it is a combination of fearing change and the negative, subservient light that women have and are still, to an extent, viewed in today.

Ironically I am watching Sex and the City as I am typing this. In specific "the modelizer" episode where Miranda dates a guy and then later finds out he only dates models. This episode focuses on models and the girls comparing themselves to them and wondering if it is possible for a 'normal' girl to find a date in New York City. They each talk about something they hate about their bodies (besides Samantha) and then state how much better models look. I think Sex and the City really relates to what we read about in FIFE. FIFE was talking about how sometimes women just do not have sex because they feel dirty or that women are not supposed to want to have sex. In Sex and the City this is the complete opposite, Samantha is sex crazy. I realize this is just a television show, but it just goes to show how much the media has evolved and now shows single women out to get laid instead of men. I think this encourages the development of female sexuality. It shows us how women can go out and have fun together and also not to be ashamed of sexual experiences. I believe that the double standard does still exist but it is slowly diminishing with the help of the media widening it's perspectives on the world.

I am going to agree with mini cooper. That women can dominate and do in certain areas of the work force. If you look at statistics of the sex that is most likely to start their own business it is women. They do this more often then men and own more businesses then men do. Which i was surprised to find out. Now yes most of these companies are small and do not have many employees but this just shows how women want to succeed in the work place. I feel the reason they cant get at the top to run "big businesses" Is becuase men are at the tops of these companies for the majority and do not want to give up there power to women. Why that is I am not sure if is becuase they are scared women will have more power or just dont think they can handle the situation

Woman are not men. They don't have to do things like men do. For example, it seems that the tendency with males in charge is to be very dominating. That may not be a comfortable leadership type role for a female. However, it does not mean that she cannot be a leader and take charge. I have heard from many women leaders from different businesses - many of whom are not loudspoken or have that dominating type of personality. They tackle their role in a different way. They may communicate better or organize the work better so that there is no need to order people around. So, I wouldn't say that men are necessarily more dominating - they just dominate their world in a way that is more visible to everyone else.

I think that a lot of things influence a person's sexuality. First, the natural instincts of sexuality play an important factor in a person's relationship and sexual lifestyle. People's inborn sexual preferences and also personality traits determine whether someone is open to sex. I think another important factor is a person's growing up environment. Are your parents open about discussing sexuality? Did they give a "sex-talk"? Are they affectionate with one another, or are they cold and shy? Or from a single parent...which parent influenced the most sexually in your life? I know it is kind of like ew gross parents and sex do not mix, but we are all mature adults now and we know that we had to get here somehow.
Aside from analyzing how parents influence sexuality, society analyzes sexual anything these days. Society is there with an opinion on sexual preference, sexual actions, sexual clothing, sex on TV, sex on the interent, sex sex sex. I think that yes, all this information does encourage and influence females to be more open with their bodies. This is more so the case now then it was when my mom was growing up. You can read about and satisfy your sexual curiosities much more easily and appropriately now.

Our society tells us that men are the sexual predators and women are often the sexual repressors. As Bell hooks says “females in the late 60's and 70's modeled themselves after males in the fact that they often looked for sexual experiences with the least amount of fuss, asserting no demands, particularly emotional ones". Why do you think that this has changed and men are viewed as the ones who only want one thing; sex? Television shows definitely have a huge impact on males and females. The amount of time spent watching television continues to grow and you can't turn on a television show without seeing sexual content in one form or another. Homosexuality is becoming more prevalent today. The acceptance is growing, and people as a society are starting to realize that it is okay. The influence a double-standard has on homosexuality is minimum in my opinion. When two people of the same sex choose to be together mutual respect is the key aspect in the relationship. If they respect each other as a sex, the double standard effect does not play a role in their relationship.

When I first confronted this issue, I felt overwhelmed by the variety of possible responses to this topic. But, after thinking for a bit, I realized that all of these ideas, activities, and behaviors are relevant to the evolution of human civilization.

It is important to realize that we are, in a sense, animals. 30,000 years ago, we were living in caves and eating shrubs. Today, we're using cell phones and driving cars. Our species' intelectual development has been exponential. But, it seems that we have yet to overcome many of our natural instincts. While our minds have expanded tremendously, our physiology and instincts have changed very little.

For a majority of the animal species on Earth, the male is "dominant." We have yet to escape this primitive ideal. While we may have supressed it greatly, it still has a strong influence over us. But, I use the word "dominant" loosely because women have power over men as well. Stereotypically, a woman can manipulate a man for material gain. Meanwhile, he is also expected to offer protection. In exchange for these things, the female brings the promise of sex and reproduction. So, while it may seem unfair or unbalanced, each gender has its own strengths and weaknesses. A man has been expected to have a body that would make him appear to be a good provider and protecter, while a woman has been expected to have a body that would produce a healthy child.

However, the imbalance in today's society comes from our own intelectual development. Today, a man can offer accomodations and protection without brute strength. A man, for example, can work at a bank all day, be completely out of shape physically, and still seem attractive to women. However, men still largely base a woman's worth on her physical appearance because that is, instincively, the primary indication of whether a woman is fit for motherhood or not.

Meanwhile, other variences, such as homosexuality, have recently surged in our society. This may be viewed as a genetic defect, psycholoical disorder, or simply a product of our own intelectual advancements.

Regardless, while parts of our minds celebrate our differences, originality, and independence, other parts are genetically destined to feel otherwise.

Personally, I don’t think that the typical stereotype of women being passive and submissive, while men being the dominate figure in the relationship, holds true today. I have seen way too many women surpass their male counter partners in many different realms of life, such as; career, family, education, and in social settings. I think that women today are far more demanding then men and I have witnessed many, many cases, in which the ‘man’ in the relationship often becomes the passive and submissive one. This might have a lot to do with the fact that a lot of women today will not simply take ‘no’ for answer and they will fight for what they believe in. I think because of the stand that women take, we are not only subjected to labeling such as slut and whore, but now also labeled as bitches, but according to the readings last week in BUST, is that such a bad thing after all?

I don't think that the role of women as 'girlfriend has stayed the same with the recent popularity of shows such as Sex and the City. Shows like that have completely changed the said 'role' and now more and more women seem to be sleeping around, just as it was believed that men did. So, I'd have to say that the current media culture is definitely influencing the role of women in their sexuality.

However, why are some people okay with the fact that men can sleep around but if women do it then they're sluts? It's another double standard. Why do people have such problems with women being the dominant ones?

Would bell hooks say that today's television shows and movies are bringing us back to the idea that 'sexual promiscuity is synonymous with sexual freedom'?

Have you ever heard that expression dealing with the sexual roles of men and women stating that men are "built" to give and women are "made" to receive? This suggest that sexual roles stem from the biological makeup of men and women. This support the idea that the man should dominate sexually and the woman should be submissive. I think this is possibly a thought that feeds into the sexualities of men and women adults but I think teens experience the side effects more. Growing up as a teen is hard enough as it is, but when you throw in the sexual roles and their double standards you get chaos in the minds of these teens. Everybody has heard of the man's praise for being highly sexual and having multiple partners and it's even a plus if he has all these partners at the same time. Good for him!!! Girls are supposed to stay vigins until the get married and if they fail to do that, then they must keep a "steady" boyfirend because sleeping with too many men is ungodly. This mindset could always be lurking in the hallways of high schools and causing young men and women to act accordingly. But what happens when girls start to stray from the norm of composure and playing their proper sexual role? As society grows to accept and portray opposing representatives of womens sexual roles, more and more women will catch the tide and hop on board. With tv shows representing the freedom that women have but don't use, with celebrities expressing their sexuality without fear of consequence or what others think, I beleive this helps aid teen girls specifically to breakout of the sexual role. I think that the idea of a sexual role is nonsense anyway. Must every single part of our lives be so controlled? I think that some women feel that they must still maintain their image of implementing the proper role in order to be accepted. These double standards go both ways. Teenage boys are pressured to uphold thier proper sexual roles or else they may be questioned.Their sexuality may be questioned by other guys if they aren't dominating enough. Women however, catch heat from both sides. A woman who is to "free" could be judged and labeled as "slut" by both men and women. Why mean are praised for the same thing women are shunned for is a question that may never be understood. I think that the coming out of women and their natural behavior is a start towards changing this double standard. It will be a while before the double standard no longer exists but i think the more women express their sexuality, and are more open minded about their bodies the more acceptable it would be for a woman to be the dominate one in a relationship. It may be more acceptable in the future for a teenage girl to date whoever she pleases and not catch heat for doing so. With more role models for teen girls to look up to as far as sexual freedom of any kind there can be change.

There are definitely women of the media out there who are open minded about their bodies. The best example I think is Renée Zellweger. She has changed her image for a number of different roles, some of which required her to gain a few extra pounds and essentially give herself a "Make-Under", if you will. Bridget Jone's Diary is a perfect example. I mean apparently she gained a significant amount of weight to adequately portray this role. I think it takes extreme courage and confidence as a woman this day in age to voluntarily and willingly gain some weight. While seemingly ever other woman of the media is dieting and exercising and losing weight, to do the opposite must be very hard, both physically and mentally. One can't help but wonder what kind of psychological issues these women really do go through as they are changing their bodies to cater to a role specific appearance. When does it become too much? Will their bodies just eventually "give out" before they can do anything to help themselves??

Television is getting much better at displaying more diverse examples of sexuality. We now see homosexual characters on TV when we never would have years ago. As far as the internet I think it can be beneficial to women if use appropriately, which it is not always. If a young girl or boy was using the internet to look at porn I think they would be getting the message of men as dominate and women as submissive. Since pornography is a pretty popular reason that some young teens use the internet I would say that it is perpetuating the societal "norm" of sex roles.

I think that there are a lot more characters on television for young girls to look up to that challenge the sex roles. Yet, it is not one sided and if society's view of what is "normal" is going to change then we need to address mens' roles too. What I would like to see are male characters that challenge the sex roles become a popular character on television.

I think the internet has helped to encourage women's sexual liberation by giving us a place to go when we have questions we might not want to ask anyone else. Of course not all of the information on the internet is reliable, but we have the ability to sort through information and perhaps figure out answers to our questions or simply, I'm not the only one who wants to know. When you put in a search on the internet and millions of pages come up that are related to your topic, it'd be hard for you to believe that you are the only one who is interested or curious about that topic. I think the internet is a great way for women, especially the more timid ones, to break away from the norms and explore.

The internet also allows women to do a lot of research on health concerns such as birth control or STDs or "is this normal?" TV and magazines might bring up ideas that can be further explored on the internet as well. I do believe that a lot of times television and magazines hurt women when it comes to body image, and encourages gender stereotyping, etc. but in terms of sexuality, I think more and more of them are standing up and saying "we want pleasure too." We still have a long way to go to break out of the typical gender roles and to accept those who are homosexuals, but I do feel like it's being talked about more than it was in the past.

The gendered behavior of young men and women exploring sexuality for the first time undoubtedly reflect the roles of men and women in the media. Because they have nothing else to learn from, no real sex ed or meaninful talks with parents, the only thing they have to turn to is the media. TV and movies proved gender script right along with the real script. THe relaionships are almost always heterosexual and follow typical gender roles of women being passive and men being aggressive. Due to a lack of education girls often grow up feeling ashamed or frightened of their own sexuality and during this tender time the only people they have to look up to are the people they see on TV. THis just spells trouble. GIrls are kept in the dark about sexual pleaure, but we seem to be over looking the fact that they are also kept in the dark about their sexual integrity and protection. THey don'r really know how to say yes or how to say no which leaves them in the position to be hurt by boys who do know not any better because of the poor media models that they have been given as well. THe affect of media on teen sexual behavior will eventually become the affect of media on future generations of teens. Since everyone has gone through this phase of life, it seems strange to me that no adult has really done anything to help future generations and prevent them from going through the same things.
I feel that many programs, sex and the city especially, have helped break the gender roles for womena and men. Four smart, intelligent, fun, well-dressed, educated, powerful women live their sexual lives by their own rules...and surprise they are not sluts or bad women. In many ways shows like this make it ok for women to embrace their sexuallity without losing other important parts of themselves.
Gender roles still play a strong part in mainstream america, but slowly these ideas are changing and spreading thoughout society, slowly making it ok to follow your own script in stead of a gender script